Crap Book

This is the book that I tried to finish this week. It's hugely popular and selling like hotcakes. People love this book. I think it's filled the void left by the Harry Potter books. I tried to read it. I tried really hard but in the end the trash got to eat it. I tried to make it my "summer read" but I failed. It's terrible and I have many other books to read. 

I feel sorry that I didn't "get you" Twilight and I won't be a part of the hysteria your series is causing. I feel bad but I had to rip you up out of frustration of your corny dialog and silly plot. You used too many dumb cliches and you're dopey main character annoyed me so much I just had to rip you in half.

I think I'll just look up the plot on Wikipedia.

New Web Phone

I just ordered a web phone. I'm kinda nervous and excited. I'm paying $38 for my home phone. I'm going to get rid of that and get a web phone for only $20 more.

It'll be part of my "therapy" to get out of the house. Hopefully, I can feel more secure when I'm away from the house b/c I'll be able to do my email and TCB (take care of biz). I feel so trapped in the house. This way I can do some work anywhere and be available for emergencies. Every time I leave the house someone calls and I always get annoyed that I missed it.

The fun part will be figuring out how to do email and switch some things over to the phone that I get stuck doing at the house.

Tracy Morgan

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008)

Michael Sembello - Maniac (Solid Gold)

God, I love The Solid Gold Dancers. Ooof. Why are there no "performance" music hit shows anymore? The artists from the 70s and early 80s made such great songs but they were ugly dudes. Music videos changed all that. I want some ugly guy music with Solid Gold dancers. There may be more Solid Gold posts in the future. Solid Gold!

Culture Club - Time

Matthew Wilder - Break My Stride (Solid Gold)

You've got to remember this song. It's one of my first musical memories. I remember hearing this in the record store on Lyndale Ave. As an added bonus why isn't a show like Solid Gold on anymore? I hope they put Solid Gold on the DVD. I still think the chicks are hot and sexy. I love these old musical performances. Ain't nobody gonna break-a-my stride ain't nobody gonna slow me down. Wise words by a musical genius!

Baby Piggies!

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony - Tha Crossroads

Whoa! Do you remember this song? This was a huge hit back in the day. I think this is the second rap song that actually made me tear up. I remember thinking this was really interesting. It's a pretty "deep" song and I love it like I love that R. Kelly Jesus song. It's corny but there's something special about it. It's kinda deep and magical.

Survivor - Eye Of The Tiger

Is there a more bad-ass song than this?

Foo Fighters Song #2

• VH1 TV Shows
• Music Videos
• Celebrity Photos
• News & Gossip

Foo Fighters on VH1 Last Night

There will probably be a short commercial but the quality of video is good and it's not on YouTube.

• VH1 TV Shows
• Music Videos
• Celebrity Photos
• News & Gossip

Skee-Lo - I Wish

Remember this song! I was so excited to hear this again.

Cat Behavior : Animals Are Really Little Retarded Furry People

I looked up what I was trying to tell you on the phone. Here is the reason (below) that you were getting bitten and what to do about it and it totally makes sense. The most important thing I've learned in my life is that each and every animal is a LIVING BEING. They have eyes, legs, brains, ears, hands (of some sort), nose, teeth, feet, etc... A cat, a dog, a human and millions of other forms of life are are living beings like you and me. They're not just "animals" they're just different versions of you. Just think of a human and morph it into a dog in your head like a movie special effect. For example next time you look at a girl dog think of her as one of your human friends that got magically changed into a dog by a witch. Well, in my opinion, that dog is just a less brainy version of a person with hair and can bark instead of talk. It's a living being.

So when you say you hate cats it concerns me that you hate living beings. It's disconcerting. It's weird. God made all the animals... but they aren't just "animals"... they're little furry, meowing, tiny brained, living people-like beings. They have behaviors that you may not understand but they're trying to communicate to us dumb humans what they want us to do... it's just that we don't see them as beings we see them as dumb little creatures... but they're not. They just live by different rules. Could you be expected to live like a cat? Why would you expect a cat to live like you? or a dog? I'm sure you're not even reading this... but do you get my point? Every living thing on this planet is just a different version of you. Meow!

"Don't Pet Me Anymore" Aggression
It is not uncommon for cats to "suddenly" bite while being petted. This behavior is not well understood, even by experienced animal behaviorists. For whatever reason, petting which the cat was previously enjoying becomes unpleasant. The bite is the cat's signal that she has had enough petting. Cats vary in how much they will tolerate being petted or held. People often describe cats as biting "out of the blue" or without warning; however, their signals may be very subtle and hard to detect. You should become more aware of your cat's body postures and cease petting or stop any other kind of interaction before the bite occurs. Signals to be aware of include:
* Restlessness
* Tail twitching
* Ears turning back or flicking back and forth
* Turning or moving her head toward your hand
When you observe any of these signals, it is time to stop petting the cat immediately and allow him just to sit quietly on your lap or go his own way, whichever he prefers. Any kind of physical punishment almost always makes the problem worse, as it makes the cat more likely to bite either because he is fearful and/or because petting becomes even more unpleasant if it is associated with punishment.
If you want to try to prolong the amount of time your cat will tolerate petting, use some food rewards. Before your cat shows any of the behaviors described above, offer her a special tidbit of food, such as a tiny piece of tuna or boiled chicken. At the same time, decrease the intensity of your petting. Continue to lightly pet your cat for a short time period while offering him tidbits. In this way, petting will come to be associated with more pleasant things, and may help her to enjoy petting for longer time periods. Each time you work with your cat, try to pet her for slightly longer time periods using the food. If you stop petting her when she is aggressive, her behavior has succeeded. She has learned that her aggressive behavior will get her what she wants—the petting stops. Thus, it is important to watch carefully for signals she is growing tired of petting.

Jimi Hendrix - Voodoo Chile

Is Jimi Hendrix the best guitar player ever? Yes. Why should you care? Because he's a genius. It's not because he's a wild rock guitarist though. Yes, he has blistering solos, sick as f#*k riffs and can play behind his back and with his teeth but "teeth playing guitarist make not one great" as Yoda would say. It's because of his "slow jams" that he's the whole package. In his short life he made three phenomenal five star albums. This is a great performance.

Tiger and Piglets

Back in the Day: Jeru the Damaja

I loved this dude "back in the day". This was one of the greatest rap records ever. I could probably still "rap" along with this song. I'm sure you'll hate it but I loved this dude's first and second album so much I probably wore my cassettes out in my car. He "drops science" on these other M.C. fools (sarcasm). Does this sound just awful to you? I love the beats, his lyrics, and his "flow". He's must be referring to the bomb at the World Trade Center b/c this was way before 9/11. Anyway, just sharing my halcyon days and memories on the Shlog.

Back in the Day: Wa Wa Nee - Sugar Free

This is truly the greatest find ever on YouTube. I've been searching for this for years. It's not even available on iTunes or to download. There is no chance that you remember this song, do you? I LOVE THIS SONG. It's so jammin'. Don't pay attention to the cheesy video because I only knew the song not how they looked. It's so funky! If there's a heaven this'll be playing when I get there. He's playing a KEYTAR! Oh my god, check out his dance steps. Oh, my love and me. Oh, were sugar free, No desire to be pumpin' up and breakin' down. I even knew it was an Anti-Drug song back in then too! Drugs! Boo!

Amy Winehouse -Tears Dry on Their Own

Eddie Murphy

How brilliant and funny is Eddie Murphy? I realized after watching a biography that he's made a ton of classic movies. He's probably acted in more than forty of fifty movies. I've actually missed some of his movies. In the past couple years I've watched Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hrs., Coming to America, and saw some of Bowfinger on cable the other night. He's so great. Even his bad movies aren't that bad. Norbit isn't the best movie but there are some funny bits in it. "How You Doin'"

I've never seen Vampire in Brooklyn, Holy Man, The Distinguished Gentleman or Dreamgirls but I've seen everything else he's done multiple times. Boomerang, The Golden Child, Delirious, Beverly Hills Cop, and his SNL skits were the best. I love Mulan, Dr. Dolittle, The Nutty Prof. and Coming to America. I've realized that I'm a huge Eddie Murphy fan and I wasn't even aware of it. When we were kids Shawn and I would go downtown by ourselves to see his latest movies. I saw Raw, Coming to America, BHC II, The Golden Child, Another 48 hrs and Boomerang all in the theaters.

I even like his bad movies like Pluto Nash, Showtime, Daddy Day Care, and Life. I've decided that I should see the ones that I haven't seen on DVD soon. I should have an Eddie DVD party and get Movie Theater microwave popcorn and Welch's grape soda and some Laffy Taffy... and maybe some, "lemonade, that cool refreshing drink".

Otis Redding - Mr. Pitiful 1966

Dave Chappelle - Grape Drink

Baby Duck

Ellen rocking out with Guitar Hero

I cannot express how fun this game is. It's probably the most fun I've had playing video games, ever. Even Ellen knows the deal! I thought you may have a little more respect for Guitar Hero after seeing someone you like schtuping it. It's really fun. There is also a game called ROCK BAND that has guitar, vocals (with a mic), and drums (with a little drum set). I heard this woman in the book store telling a girl that video games rot your brain and make you stupid. The little girl had said she wanted a Nintendo DS. I was going to stop the lady and tell her about all the studies of how video games make you smarter and kids less violent but I figured she was crazy. I should have called Child Protection. Can you imagine being a kid and not being able to play video games? That's child abuse! There are so many games that would be considered Art just as novels or movies.

The Guitar Hero game for the DS has the Los Lonely Boys' Heaven on it.



Did you watch a little of the first one? Now, this kid can play. This is what the game is really like on Hard or Expert. Yes, I finished the game. I'm a Guitar Hero. Guitar Hero in the hizouse. Booya!

Richard Simmons - Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Stand Up Comedy

Did you happen to have a few beers when you went and saw Jamie Kennedy? I was watching TV last night and a Dave Chappelle Stand Up special was on Comedy Central. I couldn't stop laughing. It was crazy. I mean Scary Movie laughing. Curb Your Enthusiasm eating hot food whilst trying to get the woman in bed laughing. Borat naked wrestling scene laughing. I was laughing so hard that I was scared I was going to pass out. I think having a few rum and cherry 7ups helped. I couldn't stop laughing. It was a holiday and I was really annoyed  (which I often am on holidays) but I had such a good time watching Dave Chappelle do stand up.

By the way, I'd strongly suggest Chappelle's Show Season 2. It's really outrageous! It is one of the best comedy shows EVER! It's a sketch show and NOT stand up... but his stand up was really fantastic too! It's really funny! Just fun and crazy and wild! It's a total classic that you should see at some point. It's up there with Curb and Ali G. It's so fun to watch, it's super-funny and brizzzzzzzillllliantt! Genius!