Favorite 80s Movies

I just heard Huey Lewis' "The Power of Love" from Back to the Future and tried to think of other great 80s movies. Here's a list my favorites. I'm sure they're all available on DVD.

- Back to the Future: I got to see the 1950s set at Universal Studios!
- Gremlins: Gizmo is so cute
- The Goonies: Chunk's Truffle Shuffle
- 3 o'clock high
- Adventures in Babysitting
- American Werewolf in London: Is it still scary?
- Better Off Dead: That movie was so funny
- Beverly Hills Cop
- 48 Hours
- Beastmaster
- The Toy
- Brewster's Millions
- Caddyshack
- The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi
- Ferrus Bueller
- Ghostbusters
- The Karate Kid
- License To Drive
- Lost Boys
- Lucas
- and who can forget my favorite 80s movie of all time Purple Rain!
What are your favorites from the 80s? I can't wait until they come out on Blu-Ray!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! You've made it to another year. Make 2008 great! I just made up that saying. You can use it if you want. LOL

This is going to be the best year ever. It's time to make some resolutions and get to it! I'm going to grow a Grizzly Adams beard and eat lots of hot dogs with ketchup and mustard (and onions). Yippie! Excited for the new year and that the holiday's are over! You've hopefully gotten your Christmas pressie by now. I wouldn't send you an unwrapped present, Gosh! When I was saying that I could be a "mediocre present giver" it was a joke. I'll always try my best to get the best present someone wants.

I'm going to make up my resolutions and get back to you with them. Starting the hot dog thing tomorrow. Happy New Year! Hopefully you got drunk and molested in some bar this New Years, LOL!

Merry Cwismas! Here's Front Row Seat To Aaron Neville's Ave Maria

How Much To Spend On Food?

I was looking up what I should be spending on food for an average budget. I've been doing my budgets and found a great website I'd suggest if you ask and are interested in budgeting and getting all your financial information in one place. It's really convenient and educational. I'm trying to save money this year so I was looking up how much I should spend on food and came across this cool photo series. I'm sure it's from a book or something to do with hunger. But I love these kinds of art... educational and interesting. I like the family from South Carolina and Italy.

Click on the Photos to get a bigger photo (obviously, gosh!)

Link to Photos

Almost Perfect Cat

I thought you'd appreciate this kitty. Pretty amazing! I've never seen a cat that likes water. That story you told me about how you tried to bathe cats always cracks me up. Were you not aware that cats hate water? Did you think cats were mini dogs? That story always cracks me up. I think you'd like this kitty.

When I see a cat I always try to image what it sees and what colors (or non-colors).

Click here to see a crappy website with an example of cats colorblind vision

Keep in mind that cats have different vision then us humans. They're colorblind, nearsighted, and see things in more extreme 3D then we do. When cats are seemingly jumping at things or playing with light it's not that they're trippin' out, they're actually hard wired to attack motion or smaller things moving around quickly. They can't help but attack a bug or ball moving until they learn what it is.

Zhen Zhen in San Diego

I heard that it's Zhen Zhen's pubic debut this weekend. I'm so excited because now they'll probably be a bunch of pictures.

Is it possible to adopt a panda? Why would anyone want a human baby after seeing these pictures?

Here's what's up on Flickr for Zhen Zhen

Christmas Music / What's a Good Name

Let's see if you actually read the Shlog. I mailed out your Christmas pressies today and I'm a little worried they'll be a little late. I didn't realize it was getting that close to Christmas and the post office gets swamped with letters this time of year.

Do you want more Christmas music? I can email you the MP3s and they aren't copy protected. You don't need a password to play them. But you can't be too critical because I'll email you music that I like (rather than specifically bought for you personally). You can just click on them to open them and they should copy into your iTunes folder. If you don't like them you can delete them. I always want to send you music but I don't want to go through the rigmarole of burning discs, buying sleeves (they're expensive), and mailing them just for one or two songs. I'll email you a song once in a while. You can re-name it in iTunes to include all that other information like Genre. I know you like to sort by Genre.

Also, I need a cool name for a fictitious Band or Artist. I can't come up with one. I won't tell you why. It's a mystery. What's a good weird name for a musician? Seriously, email me your thoughts. I ask because I know you had a bunch of "er" names and you may be good at it. But it can be a band name.

What do you think of Business school? Should I get a B.S. in Business? It seems like the only thing that I can find that I would be interested in. I would love to study Animals/Biology or Graphic Design but they aren't very good paying careers. I just want to make money and the whole point of a business is to make money. I can spend my free time reading and researching hobby interests with the money I make. Do you think that's a good choice? Any other ideas. I don't want to be a teacher or a lab researcher.

Amazing Dice Skills

One of those WTF videos so abundant on the Internuts. I'm pretty sure this is probably the lamest thing that you can spend your time practicing.

Amazing Dice Skills - Free videos are just a click away

I Love Buffalo

I don't know why but I love me some Buffalo. I'm sure they're dirty and smell really bad but I'd love to see them up close. They're very wise and powerful looking. I really like the old west animals. Turn the volume down to not hear the annoying people. There are animals that are so bizarre they may as well be aliens. The buffalo are kind of bizarre but I love them very much. They're one of my favorite animals.

Amazing Sight - Yellowstone Buffalo - More amazing video clips are a click away

Christmas Cutie

This little guy showed up at my door yesterday. Thank you! I love the little nut grabber. Merry Christmas.

30 Rock's Christmas episode was really good. They had a "LudaChristmas" party on the show.

The picture is from my cell phone. Forgive it's crappiness. I kind of think cell phone pics are charming.

Nerdical Update: I installed my new graphics cards and can now rock Call of Duty 3 and the new games this Christmas. Half-Life 2, World of Warcraft, and Sin Episode 1 are my favorite games on the PC. They're frickin' awesome, dude. Graphics are just amazing these days. Tweedle-tweedle-tweedle, that's the sound of my air guitar, dude. Rad!

No Bake Christmas Cookies

I was so intrigued when you told me about your no bake cookies. I looked it up on Google to see some recipes. There are a bunch listed that sound kind of interesting. I still haven't found "cornflake cookies". I don't know what they're called but they are made out of cornflakes and butterscotch. I'll have to ask Marc. I had an epiphany when you mentioned "no-bake". I figured out that the famous Grandma Westerman's Cornflake Cookies are probably "no-bake". They weren't the only treats she and my aunts made but they were the ones that were in the farthest corner behind "The Adult Table" and we would always wait until after the adults finished dinner to get them. It brought back some good Christmas memories and my Dad and the Westermans.

List of my favorite Christmas cookies:
1) Hersey Kisses on Peanut Butter
2) Rice Krispy Wreaths with red hots lights
3) Snow Flakes

Click Here for No-Bakes

Link to allrecipes.com

Don't Believe Birds Are Modern Dinosaurs?

Take a look at these class notes concerning a branch of dinosaurs evolving into birds. Alligators, crocs, horseshoe crabs, and sharks are very prehistoric looking aren't they? So are birds. Think of as ostrich or other birds that don't fly and stand on two legs. I think birds are amazing.

Here's a link to some notes for some class. It's pretty common knowledge these days. Hopefully you'll look over the pictures and appreciate birds a little too. They aren't just nervous and jumpy pests in my opinion.

Lots of examples in these class notes of bird evolution

Link to California Birds with nice photographs. Learn a few.

Kotaro Oshio - Last Christmas

This is a real find. I thought it was going to be some guy or kid that was awful but he is really good! He is amazing. I didn't know kids this young could play the guitar.

Wham! - Last Christmas

Is This Why You Don't Like Asian Guys?

I couldn't get this up fast enough. YouTube gold! Classic! I love webcam covers!

Which B Do You Like? Snowman's Balls

Since you get annoyed with "helpful asshole B" (which I think is much better then just plain "mean asshole B") when I repeatedly tell you something a few times, I thought I'd let you decide which B you'd prefer.

Which B would be the most successful in getting you to do something that is important and can make your life easier?
Pick an asshole B:

1) Calm, polite and repetitive asshole B: The one that I do now. I politely and sometime apologetically suggest that you do things and repeat them not because I think you are retarded but because it's a way to communicate it's importance. Sometimes it's important to repeat things because if I don't repeat them you can't see that it's important. It can sound like a broken record but I am only repeating it so you may actually "hear" me. I do "ACTUALLY" know something, sometimes. Notice how I used actually? Calmness and repeating what needs to be done is usually the most successful way to get something done.

2) Quiet don't warn you of potential danger asshole B: I ignore that you are having trouble with something and don't tell you how to fix it. I let you keep having trouble with something and I never tell you that I can make your life easier or save you time. I do use this B every once in a while when I don't really want to spend my time fixing someone else's problem. I usually use this tactic for people I don't know or people on the street.

3) Yelling, loud, and belittling B. I could just yell at you to do something and be really loud. I could tell you that you are a "retard" and that you are stupid and keep yelling until you do what I am trying to get you to do. I think secretly you respond to this because your Dad yelled at you a little when you were young and you know when you hear yelling that you better get it done. I don't yell well and I've never been successful in communicating while I'm yelling.

I don't think you're retarded or dumb and I don't know how you come to that conclusion. I'm not being snooty or playing games when I suggest something. I try to be calm, firm, and repetitive to communicate effectively. Notice how I'm even repeating that from earlier in the email? After all these years haven't you figured out that I'm not putting on a show or doing shtick? It's just how I am. I don't belittle and try to never be cruel to people. I do like to tease a little but it's never vicious or hurtful. I don't bully people. I don't threaten people. You live a million miles away and I'm not trying to get anything from you and I'm still the same guy. I don't have any ulterior motives. It's just the way I am and how I try to be helpful and beneficial to a friend.

I do the same thing with Andy, Marc, and my Mom. I calmly tell them how to solve their problem, offer help, and keep repeating until they hear me... and it's been much more successful then yelling or not saying anything at all.

So if you want to eliminate some of your computer problems the first thing to do is to do all the updates. They are important and can download in the background. If you are turning off and turning on your computer you need to update. It's analogous to "tuning up your car" and maintenance like oil changes, etc... An update is when they've found problems with the OS (operating system) or programs (like iTunes or Safari) that either cause a computer to stall or crash... or even a security problem. So when you are updating you are getting the latest version and most smoothly running version of the programs. Since Apple stuff is all "apple made" it's really super easy to do updates. It's a standard thing in using a computer. Apple makes it really easy so just do it, you retard! LOL Get all the updates... even if you don't know what they mean.

I liked your cookie story and want to be updated when you come up with a name. I think after four years that you're welcome to "rename" the cookie. Rudolph's Balls? Rudolph's poop balls? Snowman's Balls?

Favorite Podcast

One of my favorite podcasts is the 1Up show. It's a funny and entertaining show that these writers make every week or two about the video games they play and review. It's really quite good and much more entertaining then a lot of regular t.v. shows. I'm a big fan and watch every episode. Some of the writers/characters are really funny. You may be surprised how good it is. Check it out.

You can download it via iTunes, watch it on the website, or download the higher quality movie file by control clicking on your Mac and choosing "Save As" to your desktop. I really like it. I thought the Wii Fit section was really funny. Older shows are funny too!

Here's the link

The Tales of Beedle the Bard - J.K. Rowling

Here's a link to the four million dollar handmade book J.K. Rowling did for charity. The pictures are really cool. It's handwritten and illustrated. I saw an interview with her years ago and she showed a bunch of amazing drawings she had done of the Harry Potter world when she was writing the books. She isn't the greatest artist ever but it's really cool to see her drawings of her characters. They looked exactly how they were portrayed in the books.

The Tales of Beedle the Bard Pictures

Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?

Billie Holiday - Strange Fruit

Dizzy Gillespie - Salt Peanuts

Salt Peanuts - BFJO Takasago

This is one of my favorite "Jazz" songs but I know you're not really into jazzy crap so I thought this would relate more to you because it's modern. It's some Asian players that I'm assuming are all female (and Japanese?). I love this song and will put up the original too (if I can find it). This is just another "cover" that may make you appreciate jazz a little more.

Buddy Rich vs Animal

Nerdical: Graphics Card

I came up with a new ongoing Shlog series. It's called "Nerdical". I thought I'd put a short entry to educate you on things that you consider "nerdy" but are quite mainstream for most people that use computers. I had to buy a new graphics card because the old one doesn't cut it for the new games this year.

Every computer has a graphics card. Yes, even Macs and laptops. A graphics card is what pushes your video signal to your monitor (obviously, gosh). The better the graphics card the better the graphics you can push out of your machine. Since most people just need a flat 2D desktop space to run their programs they usually get a pretty tame graphics card. If you want to run some cool games you need to be able to do some cool 3D processing and that's why you get a pimped out GC (graphics card) with extra memory, dual DVI outputs (two monitors), and a fan to keep the 'lectronics cool. They can cost from $50 to $600. I bought one online for $100.

You also need a pretty good computer (PC) with a fast processor and lots of RAM to push out some cool graphics (w/ the help of the GC). 99% of all the cool games are Windows only so running a Mac pretty much means you can't run super-high-tech games but World of Warcraft runs on a Mac.

Christmas Twee 2007

Just playing around with cell phone photos. Cell phones are such horrible cameras and take the worst pictures but there is something charming about them. They kind of remind me of Polaroids.

Have you seen this tree before? I don't think you've seen it. I was all annoyed with having to buy lights for the tree but when I brought it up from the basement and opened the box I realized that I had bought a tree with the lights already in it. It's that cool? The lights are installed and wrapped around each piece and when you put them together you just plug in each separate piece. I think that's really neat. I must have gotten the tree a few years ago and probably after Christmas on clearance. Because I would never buy a brand new Christmas tree at full price.

Juno

It seems like this movie was made for you. It's been getting rave reviews (I couldn't find a review from Chris Hewitt though). It has a couple of your favorite actors and it's supposed to be funny and positive.

There have been numerous articles about it in the paper and the StarTribune guy gave it four (out of four) stars. It's supposed to be better than Knocked Up and from the looks of it's graphics it's supposed to be this year's "Too Cool For School" movie. Think pregnant Napolean Dynamite? I don't know why all the fuss but I'll probably see it eventually.

But it could also be a movie that you already hate and don't want to see. I don't know if the marketing is turning you on or off but it's supposed to be good and this seems like the kind of movie you'd like. I still have to see King of Kong but I did finally get to see Harry Potter Phoenix. The movies just remind me how phenomenal the books are. I liked the wand duel at the end and the big ball of water and the Ministry of Magic and the kitten plates, meow (I know how much you hate kitten meows but I like them).

Also, there is the Golden Compass movie that hasn't gotten very good reviews. If you haven't read those books there are three of them and they are very good. They're really imaginative and semi-controversial (which is good). I really like the author's writing but I think he's probably kind of an old curmudgeon British guy. You should check them out. Enjoyable adventure that reads really fast. I'll probably read them again soon.

Juno Reviews at Rotten Tomatoes
Juno Official Website

Beatles - Rock and Roll Music

U2 - Helter Skelter

Across The Universe - Morgan Harper

The Fray - Fixing a Hole

Dave Grohl - Blackbird

Maroon 5 - If I Fell

Otis - Can't Turn You Loose

Otis - Shake

Sitting On The Dock Cover

There is something kind of embarrassing about watching people's performances on YouTube. I'm kinda into the nervousness that occurs and the cringing when they are really bad. YouTube has been taken over by "covers" and some are kinda good and some are really awful. You said you like watching people perform so here you are.

The Sharm

Turning on the Sharm. I love that you didn't know you were giving the "okay to ask me out" signal by giving that guy your phone number. You were surprised he called you? That was a great story! I'm still laughing about it. I think it's so funny that not only you unknowingly picked up a guy at the airport but that you weren't even aware of your "witchy woman magic" that made him ask for your number, etc... It's like in Ghostbusters where you aren't supposed to cross the streams (of the ghostbusting guns). Bad things happen when you cross your nerd stream and your dating stream.

I also love your mom's advice to drop a stack of papers. You have to tell me when your mom gives you advice like that. That is classic! I think your mom is great and it just makes me laugh because she's such a sweetheart. I can just imagine the scene where she's giving you advice about dating and you're all annoyed. LOL

Just type your name on the search on Facebook. Now tell me it's not a black girl's name. There are tons of black girls that share your name and I do believe I saw a "LaS---" to (like La Fonda but with your name). UPDATE: I guess La Fonda is spelled LaFawnDuh.

I still think you should play some Chess. It'd be a great friend game like scrabulous. It always puzzles me why you hate some of the greatest things in our society.

I came up with a new game. It's called "What Would Your Mom Call It?" So what do you think your mom would call Facebook? FaceMagazine, Handbook, ArmPamphlet? Don't get me wrong, I think your mom is one of the greatest moms ever and your niece is totally like a little version of your mom. Is Killer a clone of your mom?

Queen - Tie Your Mother Down

Foo Fighters and Queen - Tie Your Mother Down

Dave Grohl Smokin' A Ciggy

Queen - Fat Bottom Girls

What Would Jesus Buy?

Here's a new movie by the Super Size Me guy. It seems like something they'd be talking about on Public Radio. I saw a couple articles and it seems kinda funny.

Here's the trailer:
What Would Jesus Buy?

Boston Puppy

Yesterday on my walk I came in contact with a Boston Terrier puppy. He was super cute and wobbling around. He had a little christmas sweater on and licked my hand when I pet him. Super cute! Little guy with a red sweater.

I've been helping Andy set up a new computer and fixing his set-up at his bookstore. His dad still controls everything but I worry that they'll be out of business soon because it's so gross and dumpy there. They haven't updated anything for years and Andy told me once that he thinks they only make about $10,000 a year after all the bills are paid. They aren't willing to do anything to keep up with the times. It kind of makes me feel bad but I can't do anything about it.

The featured puppy is "Sweet Potato" from the Humane Society. She's a Jack/Rat Terrier mix and is really cute! I'm sure she'll be adopted by the end of the day.

Hope you got to Californie safely.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! It's snowing here. It's the first snow of the year where it's making the ground white. I love the first few snows of the year (until it gets bone chillingly cold).

The paper came packed with "doorbuster" sale ads. Can you believe that some stores are opening at four o'clock AM and most at five AM? That's nuts. "Who ahhhrree these people?" (say that in a bad stand-up Jerry Seinfield voice). Who needs to buy Spider-man 2 or Mystic Pizza on DVD for $2.49 at 5 in the morning? That would be crazy zombie people who are terrible consumers, if you will. I had to figure out a way to use "if you will". I did hear "actually" on some news story the other day. I still haven't heard "if you will" in the wild yet.

I'm on my second year of doing a Thanksgiving Fiesta! Last year was probably the nicest Thanksgiving I've had in years. I don't make turkey or any of the "traditional" thanksgiving foods, if you will (doesn't really work here but I'm trying to be funny). I make tacos! I've never been a big fan of turkey and yams. I don't think you like yams do you? They seem like something mushy you wouldn't like. And instead of trying to be Martha Stewart, if you will, I get to do something new and fresh. Tacos! Yummy! Since I'm not eating yucky turkey it doesn't remind me of the past yucky turkeys I've had to choke down. Turkey, cranberries, and pumpkin pie is about as appetizing as sushi to me. It just doesn't make me excited to eat. I'll be muchin' on Tacos with all the fixings.

Ultimate Boston Terrier Growing Up Video

Thirty Seconds of Cuteness

Fossile of Big Bug

Thought this was cool. Bugs are all basically versions of ocean animals like shrimp, crabs, lobsters, etc... that have evolved on land. Can you imagine a bug this big? Cool, dude!

Link to bug story

Mr. T Does Warcraft Ad

Here's a link to Mr. T's Warcraft ad. Warcraft is the massively mulitiplayer online nerd wizard game I play with Marc. It's a phenomenon and I've spent many o' hours online playing with Marc or any number of other nerds across the globe. Doin' quests, gaining XP (experience), killin' a plethora o' enemies, stomping through dungeons looking for treasure, and havin' fun. It's probably the most entertaining game ever made (in a Napoleon Dynamite voice).

BTW, I'm a level 59 (70 is the top) Night Elf Warrior named "Plural". Looks like Mr. T's character (in the commercial, I'm sure he doesn't play) with regular "elf hair" instead of a mohawk.

Mr. T Commercial for World of Warcraft

Art and Miracles

Yes, I absolutely agree with you that babies are miracles. All babies... even scorpion babies and eel babies. Piggy babies too! Every aspect of life is a miracle but babies are super-miracles!

I love art! There was a show about modern art in HD tonight on PBS. I love the absurdity and preposterousness of modern artists. There were some great artists featured. I am always forever fascinated by your stigmas against certain things in our world. I would bet dollars to donuts that you have some sh-opinions about "art" and they aren't positive.

I love installation art. Maybe it's because I worked at MCAD and all those weirdo kids were so into what they were doing. I don't know. I hate art people. I don't even know any famous artists. I have very limited knowledge of "the art" but I love it.

Art is anything you want it to be. It's only you who has to decide what it means (if anything) to you. You don't have to know anything and you don't have to be able to explain it. You can enjoy a symphony without knowing how to play a violin, right? You decide if you like it or not. That's it. Art is freedom. You're not supposed to think anything or feel anything other than what you want to feel when you are enjoying (or hating) it. It's only what you want it to be.

My favorites forms of art are: Installations, really old religious paintings, old "masters" paintings, super cute commercial designs and characters (like chubby stars with smiley faces), guitar shapes, absurdist stuff, surrealism like Dali, and sketch drawings and doodles, and comic books from the 1960s and 70s. What are yours?

Guy Singing California

This is sure to put you in a bad mood. Corny guy singing "California". I couldn't stop laughing but I think it's really noble. It's really easy to suck, even if you learn the whole song and sing it. I'm still laughing.

Queen and David Bowie - Under Pressure

Steve Martin - The Great Flydini

Led Zeppelin

Thanks for the CD's! I'll listen to them. I bought the Foo Fighters album when it came out (my favorite song is #3) but I do like the other two. Maroon 5 was on Howie and I'll give the Kooks chance (it's chance not "a chance" like a black person would say it).

Huge news in the world of online music. Led Zeppelin is finally on iTunes. I don't know if you have some weird stigma attached to them but I strongly suggest you download some of their records. They're some of the best albums ever. If you think I'm a dummy or a music snob I can assure you that I'm not. I'm trying to come up with the Shreasons that you'll say that you don't like "Zep". (Shreasons are your crazy stereotypes or stigmas for why you don't like something). I put two links to articles written by Dave Grohl about Led Zeppelin. He actually wrote and published articles about how much he loves Led Zeppelin. I'd strongly suggest downloading a couple of their records (full records). My favorite is Houses of the Holy.

Picture shows Mr. Grohl w/ Led Zeppelin I CD.

Dave Grohl writes about Led Zeppelin

Another Dave Grohl link

Led Zeppelin's Ratings by Album at Allmusic.com
(notice the number of 5 star albums, click the discography link)

Dancing With The Stars

I've been Tivoing Dancing With the Stars (I fast forward through it) and guess who was on this week? Jenny Garth your favorite 90210 actress was having a hard time so they brought in Richard Simmons and she started crying. He was her motivator that week. Jenny Garth and Richard Simmons: sounds like the planets have aligned for your celebrities.

Also, I look at the Yahoo Buzz Index and Giant Pangolin is in the top 5 for most searched terms. Weird. Is it the name of something else in the news? Did Kanye West's mom die because of a Giant Pangolin or something? Odd.

Yahoo Buzz Index

I'm a Guitar Hero!

I got Guitar Hero this week and I've never had as much fun playing a video game. You basically rock out to a bunch of good (and bad) guitar songs with a special guitar controller. It's so much fun. It's like playing a rock show! I'm trying to see if I can get an extra controller for my Christmas party. I figure Marc or the kids could figure out how to play it pretty fast. It's super fun. I was playing it last night for about four hours straight. It has a ton of good songs from the Foo Fighters to Heart to Free Bird as the finale. You get encores if you play good enough for the crowd to get into it. The encores are unlisted surprise songs that are harder like the one shown in this video.

Best DVD's Ever

Talking with Marc about the best comedy shows and he suggested I watch a new show that just came out on DVD called Flight of the Conchords. He said it had some classic quotables in it. It made me wonder if you've seen the all the best comedies in the last few years or if you missed any.

I don't know if I ever suggested you get the Chappelle's Show DVD's. The are just as funny and I'd consider them modern classics up there with Curb Your Enthusie, Arrested Development, Extras, and Ali G. You'll have to rent the Chappelle's Show DVD's. It was a huge hit and semi-controversial. It was also one of the funniest shows ever. Rent it.

I'll watch the Flight of the Conchords and let you know if it's as funny as Marc says it is. I watched a few clips online and it seems like something that you'd like and maybe even l-o-v-e.

Just between you and me. I don't really like Tony Hawk. I try to like him but he just annoys me. Maybe I'm jealous but I've never liked him (even when I was a kid). He was on Smarter than a 5th Grader tonight and he dresses like a bum (a kid). I'm just not into him. I don't really know what you see in him either. He's not attractive. He's old and he was wearing dumpy "pot head" clothes and he isn't very smart... actually he's kinda dumb. I saw his wife too... she old. I don't usually like to rag on people but I don't see what is so special about him... is it because he was a "teen dream"? Like Donnie and Marie Osmond or Peter Frampton or Chachi (Scott Baio).

Beard

Since you told me about "Beards" I've been hearing it everywhere. I heard people use it on Howard Stern a bunch of times and it was on some TV show somewhere. At least four or five times I noticed it since you told me what it was.

It makes me wonder how many times I've heard it in the past and thought they were talking about the hair on men's faces. I had never heard that before and now I'm hearing it all the time.

It's like when you learn a new vocabulary word and all of a sudden it pops up in your everyday encounters. Like I learned "bete noire" and I've seen it at least three times in the last month. Look it up if you don't know the deffy but maybe you've known all along. I wonder what other slangs you know that I've never heard of?

Christmas Songs

I was looking through Christmas songs on iTunes and I was going to gift you a few to add to your Christmas music collection but I'm not sure which artists you are interested in. There are so many bad Christmas songs that would make me cringe when I was previewing them. If there are any singers or songs you like just let me know. I'm pretty sure you have most of the classics but let me know if there are songs that you want. I'll gift them to you.

Talkshow w/ Spike Feresten Hollywood Douchebags

That's funny! I've seen his show a couple times and think it's good. I saw this last weekend and was going to ask you if you saw it. Isn't that funny? I never watch T.V. and I saw exactly this sketch last Sat. night when SNL was super borning. I like this show and have watched some episodes online. He must be midwestern because he's totally got an accent. Is he Canadian? He reminds me of my Dad's family when we were kids. He's a little like my brother Charlie's side of the family.

He's your celebrity crush? I would think most of the ladies think he's kind of nerdy. Do you really think he's a hunk?

How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty

Yes, I know that Matchbox Twenty be corn-nay but I really respond to them for some reason. There is something about their hits that hits me. I really like some of their songs for some reason.

Dave Grohl - Tiny Dancer

Elton John - Tiny Dancer

Foo Fighters - My Hero

Guitar Hero Monkey Wrench

This game is a phenomenon. It uses a special guitar controller. You play the guitar along with the buttons on screen. It looks pretty fun but I wonder why you would just learn how to play an actual guitar.

Burger Magic

Cute Porcupine

Happy Halloween!

New Words To Add To Your Vocabulary

I was looking through some of the submissions for new words to the Merriam Webster's Dictionary. Some are pretty funny and I think I'm going to start using. Also, there's a "man" word in there. Try practicing some of these because I think they're clever or just plain dumb... but I really want to start calling my Grandma, G-ma. That's funny. Get your nieces to start calling your mom G-ma! I'll get Marc's kids to start using it. Here are the new words:

manorexic (noun) : A male who is anorexic. This term is significant due to the low percentages of males who have anorexia nervosa.
Look at his skinny arms, he must be a manorexic. —James St. James, Freak Show, 2007

G-pa(ma) (noun) : An affectionate way of referring to one's grandpa/grandma.
Due to his failing health, my g-pa had to relocate to a warmer climate.

sexytary (noun) : a very sexy, attractive, and seductive secretary
He's always eager to go to work because of his sexytary.

And I there was an article about this one in the NY Times:
Link to Va-Jay-Jay
I guess people on TV have been using Va-Jay-Jay in place of Vagina. It was on 30 Rock and Oprah uses it... I think it's funny. There was an episode of South Park a year or two ago about Oprah's Va-Jay-Jay that you'll have to see sometime.

Update: according to a Shlog super-fan that emailed me: the word va-jay-jay was used in an episode of Scrubs many many years ago.

You'll Love These Shows

Remember last week I was telling you of a show about crossword puzzle nerds? How I thought you would have loved it, 'member? Well, this weekend I caught another show that you'd love even more. It'll make you laugh, It'll make you smile, and it'll make you cry.

The show is called Independent Lens and it's on PBS. The title of the show you'd love is called "Please Vote For Me" and it follows a class in China through the voting of a new class monitor. I'll put the website up. It's super cute and very exciting. It could be a "sh-lassic". You'll have to see it.

Here's the link to the website. See if it's on t.v. this week or on dvd at netflix soon? The wordplay show is good too... I've seen other Independent Lens shows that have been really sh-awsome that you'd like too!

http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/pleasevoteforme/

Living Colour - Middle Man

I can honestly say that this song changed my life. There are a few times when I've been so amazed and excited about music as when I saw this. I remember it vividly. It was the summer of 1988 and I had just moved to Minneapolis and my mom had dropped us off(Marc and I) to live with my dad. She was headed for Arizona (later it turned into New Mexico) with Jerry. We were tired of moving and would rather suffer being poor with Pop so we could stay at the same school for our high-school years. She dropped us off on the last day of school and I started my life at my dad's house while she moved with Jerry. We knew she would keep moving every year or two (she did) and we didn't want to spend the most important years of our lives in different cities at different high schools. We were very aware that Pop was poor and we'd have to live in a shit apartment but it was better than moving around with Jerry and Mom for the next few years. I was 13 years old and will always remember those years. They were really hard and I can never forgive her for that. But I would never do that to someone especially to family.

I spent a lot of hot summer days at Shawn's house hanging out and this was on the T.V. I bought the tape as soon as it was released and listened to it all summer. Little did I know that I would still remember it as a soundtrack to that summer. Black Rock n' Roll? Now we're talkin! Can you believe that this was almost 20 years ago this summer? 1988-2008. Word.

This Made Me Laugh

The Face of Evil

Is this the face of evil? Is he plotting against you? He's waiting to disappoint you and will jump out at you when you walk by where he's hiding.

Britta Eats

Fall is Here

One of my favorite seasons is finally here! I notice not only by the chilly weather but the fattening up of the little squirrelies. The once svelte squirrels have finally bulked up for the winter. They are so cute and chubby.

One of the Creepy Peepies (aka Neighborhood Creepies) was throwing nuts to a squirrel when I was walking back from the Convention Grill yesterday. The squirrel even thought he was creepy. I went and got a hamburger, alone. I've been a little miserable from being stuffed up. I keep forgetting I have allergy problems a couple weeks in the spring and fall. They're much easier to deal with now that I don't smoke. I got some Tylenol and Claratin from Target last week and take one when I'm feeling sinus pressure and eat stuffiness. They work because last night I had the biggest headache before the NLCS championship game (Go Sox!) and after taking a Tylenol it went away. I used to be really anti-medicine but I'm starting to pop a pill if I'm not feeling well so at least I can prevent myself from being sick and miserable.

I'm going to go down to the Wild Rumpus to see if they have any cool Halloween books and then write down the titles and order them for the kids (no tax and free shipping on Amazon.com). I hope I get to see the new kitten. The last kitten "Sumo Mouse" is a Russian Blue which I think refers to it's Grey coat and yellow eyes. He was really cute last time I went there and let me pet him while he closed his eyes and had his little paws out.

Not only have I noticed nannies in the neighborhood this year. I've started to notice dog walkers. They'll have four or five dogs and be walking around and down by the lake. Is Linden Hills that snooty? I can hardly deal with the Co-op assholes and the Turtle bread women. Is my neighborhood that snooty? I feel a little out of place because everyone is older than me but I'd much rather live here over anywhere else in Minneapolis (or Minnesota) because there are a lot of things I had to deal with in other neighborhoods growing up that don't even exist here... and the lake is really quite pretty. But I do wish I could live in an area that was a little less "urban" so I could see signs for free puppies and kittens on the side of the road.

Is Dumbledore Gay?

Yes, according to J.K. Rowling. She said it during an interview today.

I hope it's true. That just makes the books that much more interesting and controversial. People will go through the entire book looking for "Larry Craigs" (references to him being gay, I made that term up)

Here's the link

I guess it is true! How exciting. I'm such a big fan of those books and read all those other books about the HP series and none of them ever said anything about Dumbledore being gay! That blows my mind. There are more details in the link.

Here's the link

Testing Your Faith Part IV

I've got a great Testing Your Faith! Okay, here's the question. If the Jewish Old Testament (The Torah, I think it's called), the Koran or Quran (I don't remember how to spell it but the Muslim bible) and the Christian bible are all similar or the same stories or even the same text. Why would the Jewish people and the Muslim's bibles be wrong? Does that mean that part of their bibles are "true" but part of them aren't?

And why would God give the wrong stories or the wrong bible to people? Why would all three be true? Hmmm. If God stories were rock songs and the bible was filled with it's greatest hits why would the Jewish and Muslim bible get different songs and why does the Christian bible have bonus tracks?

Baseball and Books

I got my "Schulz and Peanuts" book today. I'm really excited to read it. It's long. Hopefully I can get through the whole thing. I wish reading books would be equivalent in time to watching a t.v. show. There are so many books that I want to read. I've always been fascinated by Mr. Schulz and how he became so famous. I love cultural phenomenons. It's so cool how people get so famous because they touch something in people that make people buy their stuff. Also, with hugely famous things there is a lot of information about it (books, articles, opinions, crazyness). Here are a few cultural phenoms that I like. The Beatles, Agatha Christie, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc... I love that there is so much information and theories about these things.

I've got a bunch of books lined up to read. A couple Agatha Christie's (Which I kind of wait for because she's not going to write any more), Lisey's Story, the first Dark Tower book, a few comic novels (I don't call them graphic novels because that makes them sound like porno), a Halo book, a crappy horror book with zombies or some sort of monsters on the cover, a video game tie-in book, a few teen adventure books (think Harry Potter), and a few classics... and a huge American Literature compilation book.

The baseball games have been pretty amazing. In one game a team made seven runs in one inning. Also, three guys hit home runs... in a row, no shit. And that was just one game! I got a bag of peanuts (in the shell) and read stuff online while I watch the game. It's exciting tonight because the Red Sox could be out and the Cleveland Indians could be going to the World Series. My favorite pastime while watching the game is to watch the people in the audience and try and figure out what they're like. You can see the audience really clearly because of the HD.

Two Cats Talking

Shleepy Squirrel Baby

Here is a story with a ton of cute pictures of a baby squirrel. You'll have to click the links at the bottom of the page to start at the beginning of the story. Many supacute pictures.

Click here for the link

Biggest Loser

I turned on the T.V. and I was taken aback by a huge black woman with giant tits! Oh, it's the men on The Biggest Loser. They're so huge! It makes me wonder how someone can get that big? I don't want to know. They are like 350 lbs. That's wild. Whoa. Maybe I should use my new saying, "Uff".

I've been watching baseball. Which is pretty boring. I like that it's boring though. It makes me relax, like reading a book. It makes time slow down and makes me feel like a kid. I really liked baseball when I was a kid. I liked to play it, alot! That big scar on my eyebrow is because of baseball. We used to play at the park and hit 'em out of the park. We even broke windows on home runs and ran. Shawn and I loved playing. We'd go practice hitting and play catch constantly, even in the alley in the winter. I kind of wish I could throw a baseball with the lil' homies. I had the best old baseball glove from my uncle or grandpa. There used to be enough kids at the park to play team sports... what happened? When I was a kid we'd go to the park and play pick up games of baseball, soccer, dodgeball, kickball, and even touch football.

The people on the Biggest Loser kind of make me sick. It reminds me of my mom. My mom has been over weight forever but I don't even know if she knows that she is. It kind of worries me because it makes me think that I am going to look like her or have a girlfriend that gets really fat. She is really really lazy. I mean really lazy. I know fat people always blame their metabolism or genes but my grandma was never fat until she was in her late 70's. I think I'm going to start really working on it. I don't want to be this way the rest of my life. Cut down on calories and do some exercising. I think I'm going to only eat meat once in a while. I used to never eat this much meat.

Home run! Baseball is like a snake that slithers slowly, stays still, and right when you're almost hyp-mo-tized by it's eyes... it explodes! Home run.

Single Meals

I know how much you love cooking (sarcasm) and I thought that "Single Meals" would be a good way to give you ideas for simple meals. Maybe with some simple ideas you can expand your meals to include some favorites. These are simple meals.

Spaghetti n' Meat-a-balls-ah (in a bad eye-talian accent)
Ingredients:
Jar of Pasta Sauce (I like Neuman's)
Angel hair or thin spaghetti pasta
Bag of frozen meat-a-balls-ah
A little parm cheese

Boil a little water. Put frozen meatballs and sauce in a small covered bowl. Angel hair or thin spaghetti pasta cooks faster because it's thin (it also tastes better). Put a few good shakes of salt in the water. Pasta tastes better with salt and the water boils faster. Microwave frozen meatballs and sauce for a minute thirty seconds or two minutes until done. Cover the bowl with a loose lid or paper towel. Pasta should only take about five minutes. Drain pasta and pour sauce on top. Make sure meat-a-balls-ah are hot in the middle. Sprinkle some black pepper and parm cheese on top. Yummy.

Add a piece of garlic bread or a salad and you've got a yummy delicious meal in 10 minutes.

Chiru - Best Video Ever

By far the best video ever made. I love the story, the choreography, the inventive sets and costumes, and the tripped out song.

Bee Gees - Too Much Heaven

People Getting Punched Just Before Eating

Dodge Neon

I put insurance on the Neon. I'm getting frustrated with being trapped at home and listening to my mom creaking around upstairs. I'm tired of not being able to TCB things and finally gave up on hating driving.

I pushed the Neon out of the garage, put the battery in, started it up, and washed it. I sat in the car for 20 minutes blowing the heat and A/C to get some of the smoky smell out. It doesn't really smell that bad because I aired it out last year. I'm paying $70.00 a month for full coverage. Uggg. It's time for me to move on and be able to trot around town so I can actually get some shit done.

It feels like I'm 15 years old and have never driven before. I need to move around even if it's boring for me to go places that I've been a million times before... also, I want to be able to go see puppies and kittens.

I'm even looking up how to change the air and take care of some of the maintenance myself. My car is from 2001 and has 32,000 miles. It cost $11,800. I've got to get my money's worth.
"A real man takes care of his own problems" -Somebody famous

Nummy

Baby Bostons

Stevie Wonder Talk Box

Foos

Foo Fighters will be the musical guest on SNL on Oct. 13th.

SNL - Iran So Far

Sugababes - Push The Button

Takin' Care of Business, TCB!

I'm turning into quite the handyman lately. I fixed my toilet this summer. My toilet is a Pressure Assited toilet (I've fixed regular ones plenty of times). I also fixed my kitchen sink. It was leaking all over the counter every time I turned it on. It took me a few hours to dimantle it and fix it but I really like to fix my own stuff. It makes me feel like a man to have my head under the sink.

Also, Finnley and Griff Griff were over yesterday for a couple hours. Fin is by far the cutest of the kids as a baby. She's only two and I was asking her all sorts of questions and she was answering them correctly. Things like, "That's a cute cat." and she would know it's a bear not a cat. And she knew all the colors because I was saying, "That's an orange bear." and she'd say, "No, it's bur-own" and laugh hysterically.

I also put up 1/2 curtains on my front windows because it's really distracting to see the mailman and ups guy over my shoulder every day when I'm working. And I also feel like a creep if I'm trying to excercise and people are walking by seeing a guy with his arms waving around. They are semi-transparent to let the light through. I'm actually really excited because now I can have the top half open to get the light and not have to close the shades entirely at night and feel like I'm trapped inside. I can still see all the nature and sky but not see all the buses, trucks, and cars.

Feist 1234

Yummies!

It's officially Fall... which happens to be my favorite season. I love Fall. I totally wait all year for Fall weather. If I had to put my favorite seasons in order it would go Fall, Spring, Winter, Summer.

And since it's Fall, it means that it's Caramel Apple and Popcorn ball time. So be sure to pick up some up. The Caramel Apples from the Co-op are super yummy. As much as I hate the co-op I have to say the do right by the C-apple.

Halo 3

I'm really excited because Halo 3 comes out tomorrow! It's the biggest video game ever. Everyone plays Halo. It's a FPS (first person shooter) that is super popular and now it's got a graphics update, new story, and more online maps. I've been seeing articles in all the papers this week and I can't wait.

I have my new HD tv and I'll probably get another controller so Andy can get killed by me. I even read a Halo paperback prequel this week in anticipation! How nurdy, huh? Everyone plays Halo.

It also got a 9.5 (out of 10) which is a really good sign. It's a fun game and I think you'd like it. I saw video of it and it looks really good in HD. It's a science fiction game that has a pretty good story. Just imagine Star Wars or Harry Potter but a video game... that's how popular it is and it has it's super fans. It's really fun because you never really die and there are a few different races of aliens that are challenging to kill and have really good AI so they'll come after you and duck and dodge. Also, it has an online multiplayer with voice chat so you can hear assholes yell when you kill them... which is really creepy to hear people talkin' shit on the internet.

BTW there are 10,000 stores in America that'll be open tonight at 12:01 Am to sell the game. Sheesh.

Here's a link to more info

Bee Gees - How Deep Is Your Love?

Korean DJ Wonderkinds

I found this on CollegeHumor.com. I think it's really funny.

Ricky Gervais Meets Larry David III

There are a ton of Ricky Gervais YouTube videos of shows like this that I've never seen available anywhere. I thought this was interesting and will probably watch the rest. Just type in "Ricky Gervais Meets Larry David" in YouTube. I guess it was an hour show? It just cracks me up when I see clips from CYE. It's like kind of bizarro to see two of the funniest guys talking about about their funny shows. There are tons of radio shows from the U.K. with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. I guess they did a radio show for years before the Office? Stepen Merchant even does a music show? Odd but I'm sure you'd like it because you love the radio. Here's a the link to a radio show Stephen Merchant does. I haven't listened to it yet.

Woofstock 2007

These little guys were down at Woofstock this afternoon. Linden Hills hosted a dog day today. I walked down to get a Potato/Soup meal from Famous Daves and there were hundreds of dogs down at the corner. There were booths and everything. Everything dog related was down there. Dogs everywhere. I brought my lunch home and went back down because I realized the chances are pretty good that there would be a puppy somewhere amongst all the dogs.

The pictured puppies were there. Parker and Posey. They were really cute. There were other puppies there too! The animal foster homes around the city were down there and they brought some mixed puppies to get people to stop by their booth. I played with Parker and Posey for about a half hour. There were tons of dogs there. Big dogs like Great Danes to small Dachshunds and costumed dogs with wacky velvet royalty outfits. There was a bunch of dog biscuit booths and super creepy dog painting and really horrible pet art booths but my favorite were the shelter booths with the puppies and the retired Greyhound booth (they're huge!). You would have loved it... and they had grilled brats.

Milk For Baby Panda

Women Over Thirty Three

I did an extensive search for pictures of women over 30 that are considered attractive but I couldn't find anything. I can never find anything on Google. Maybe I'll try MySpace. I'll come back and post the links once I make sure my dinner won't come back up and out my mouth. I 'pect to find some nasty examples of women over 30. I'll do a search by age.

I bet 90% of women over 30 have a huge yucky ass. My new name for that is "The Nightmare Ass", LOL. Nightmare Ass! Buttmare. It's a Buttmare!

UPDATE: CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK TO MYSPACE WOMEN LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIPPY

Some great posts below... I'm starting to think the Shlog is better than most magazines. Are there any articles you'd like to see on the Shlog. It's basically a personalized magazine with super short posts so you don't get Shulk about it.

I'm starting to think I'm becoming a pretty good comedy writer. Shulk... that's funny. You turn green and get all mad and your shirt rips from your muscles, LOL. (Shulk is a contraction of Shayla and Hulk). Even my explanations of my jokes are funny because they're sarcastic. See, I'm really deep too because I'm using sarcasm to tell you how funny I am by explaining how funny I am in a lame way... because I'm so funny. Okay, I can tell you're getting Shulked up.

It's a buttmare!