Oh... my... God! I saw the inside of the house of the guy next store. You know, the little guy? The little guy with the girlfriend that's a foot taller than him? The guy that annoys me because he always wants to talk and see what I'm doing?As I said he was ruining my weekends by having construction guys over fixing his stairs to the upstairs apt. and having his bathroom tiled. I was watering my gardens and planters and he was around back there behind the fence. I could tell he wanted to talk to me. He was up and down the stairs annoying his new tenant. He finally caught me when I had to water the Hostas in the front. Ugg.
I can't stand talking to the guy but I had just gotten back from Andy's bookstore and was in a nice mood because I took a long walk and had a piece of pizza for lunch at Broder's. He was talking about HD tv and told me to come over at 9:00 (when it gets dark) to see his "awesome set up".
Avoiding all the obvious gay subtext of him inviting me over to check out his "system"... I wanted to see the inside of his "awesomely awesome bachelor pad". I wanted to know that if his "pad" was the reason that he had a girlfriend.
To make a long story short... it was horrible! It could have been really gross with beer cans and pot roaches in ashtrays but it wasn't that bad... but it was totally weird. It was like going back in time. He had one of those huge $20,000 1984 projection TVs like from Chuck E. Cheese or Showbiz Pizza Place in his living room! He had 7 foot speakers! It was so crazy! What the F#*K? He had black leather couches. I watched the TV while he was saying things like, "You don't get resolution like that without HD!", "Check out the crispness of the text", "You can see the lines under her eyes"... No matter what he said I thought it looked horrible! It was all blown up on a huge hand made screen that was at least 8 ft tall by 12 feet wide... and it had a huge seam crack right in the middle of the screen! It was like an episode of King of Queens or Seinfeld... if he talked about his girlfriend's huge vagina I could have been Larry David. His kitchen was shiny lipstick red with black and silver trim... all the cabinets were shiny red. It was like going back in time to 1984. He also had two or three extra projectors lying around for parts! These projectors were at least four feet by three feet wide! It was nuts. Bachelors, wtf?
Btw. Every time write a post and see the pictures on the Shlog it makes me happy. Haven't you noticed how super cute the pictures are? I especially love the little bunny on the top with his little furry feeties. So cute! The firefox eating with his little paw... how awesomely adorable is that? Or all the little puppies with the smiles? They provoke instant happiness. I will be walking down the street and think of the little bunny's feet and smile... they're iconic cuteness!
